It’s true. She is. Thor told me. Well, truth be told, he described her fifteen years ago, long before he even met her.
Their love is the undeniable proof of the power of advertising and the laws of attraction.
About fifteen years ago, Thor informed me that he had discovered the description of his ideal woman, that very morning, on a new canister of Edge Shave Gel. So being the good and loyal friend that I am, I mentioned this in my toast to the bride last weekend.
(Much laughter and blushing ensued. I was thoroughly pleased.)
And then this past week, Thor unearthed the original email, sent in 1996, in which he enthusiastically shared his discovery and detailed the woman he had yet to meet.
…..Normal. (“So far so good”, Thor said.)
…..Ultimate Closeness (“Getting better”, Thor said.)
…..Rustproof Bottom (“Never really considered it before, but I guess that’s a rather important feature”, Thor mused.)
…..May Explode When Heated (I had forgotten the exploding bit, and had replaced it in my memory with “Non-Irritant”, which, by the way, also describes Thor’s lovely lady.)
And so, fifteen years after Thor discovered Edge Shave Gel, and a week after having married the woman so perfectly described thereupon, I raise my glass once again, to the woman who meets and exceeds the description of Thor’s ideal woman.
P.S. I’m now a believer in the power of product placement.